I came to Delhi in 2001…..at that time I use to roam in JNU alone as know nobody here…i had so many dreams…but I was lonely…..today its 2011….10 years have passed…and nothing has changed…..even today I roam in JNU at night…and I’m still lonely…..one thing has changed though…I have no dreams today….And this is a good thing…in next 10 years I’ll regret nothing. Its not that I don’t have friends or people to talk to….i have some good friends whom I meet regularly, go out have fun, drink beer, crack silly jokes…..its all there…but this does not take away my loneliness…its very deep…i don’t know from and how it came to me…..but since last 15 months it has become a very prominent part of my life….. And when I analyze it…it gives me a sense that I’ll die like this only…..alone and lonely.
These thoughts were going through my mind while I was coming back after attending a public meeting at Mahi-Mandavi mess…generally I don’t go for a public meeting but I was especially called for this one…as a documentary film was scheduled to screen there and I did some technical work for it (I did editing and voice-over)…so these people wanted me to come….and as usual I was not willing to go…but as the meeting was kept in Mandavi mess…I thought I should go and see my hostel and room no. 17….. Anyway, after the film they called in front and introduced me to the public…they clapped for me…as they clapped I felt that these clapping doesn’t matter to me at all…it doesn’t make me happy…..though yesterday I sat for continuous 12 hours(3pm-3:30am) in front of computer to complete this film……
These thoughts were going through my mind while I was coming back after attending a public meeting at Mahi-Mandavi mess…generally I don’t go for a public meeting but I was especially called for this one…as a documentary film was scheduled to screen there and I did some technical work for it (I did editing and voice-over)…so these people wanted me to come….and as usual I was not willing to go…but as the meeting was kept in Mandavi mess…I thought I should go and see my hostel and room no. 17….. Anyway, after the film they called in front and introduced me to the public…they clapped for me…as they clapped I felt that these clapping doesn’t matter to me at all…it doesn’t make me happy…..though yesterday I sat for continuous 12 hours(3pm-3:30am) in front of computer to complete this film……
